You: Your ex is attractive.
Partner: Which one?
giving guys boners is empowering and nothing else matters
This worries me like what else am I supposed to do with them
fuck them. fuck the pringles. put your dick in the can
I read an article the other day that said, “if you drink every day you are an alcoholic.” Thank god I only drink every night
MY MOM JUST TOLD ME TO CREMATE HER AND PUT HER ASHES IN AN HOUR GLASS SO THAT EVEN AFTER SHE’S DEAD AND GONE SHE CAN CONTINUE TELLING ME HOW MUCH TIME I’M WASTING.